Notice: Adult Language & Content Included (from me and the movie)
This movie has been on my list to review for far too long, it’s time to lay this bitch down before it’s too late. The title of this film is what grabs you first, whether you read it or hear it. I ordered my copy immediately from LastGasp and Chilebrown ordered the first film by Tina Tankdog, Hot Chick Stoner BBQ. It was hard waiting by the door each day for the maillady to come, peering through the curtains as the sun set each day. Within the week, there she was with my package. Given the content I had to wait until the kids were asleep. Shower, jammies, bed & it was time. In it went …

Hot Chick Hotrod Stoner BBQ (HCHSBBQ) is a collection of all the things Tina Tankdog enjoys (I’m guessing here), probably on a regular basis. And she was thoughtful enough to put this film together and share it all with us. It starts out with Hotrod Honey blasting around in her bigblock Camero, laying down rubber, shift gears and looking like she’s having way too much fun. I have to say, hearing the precision click of her shifting gears gave me goosebumps. Mama was right there with me, watching the show, watching me. My eyes were getting bigger and bigger as I leaned foward towards the tv.
After blowing around the track a few times, it’s time to meet up at a local (San Francisco Bay Area somewheres) wrecking yard. There’s girls of all shapes and sizes riding on the hoods, roofs and hanging out of windows. All the while some fucking excellent punk and hard rock tunes play. I have no idea who any of the bands are, but it fits the film like Honey and her 4-speed. Everyone gets situated (beer and relaxation) and Honey starts up the pit. She’s got a newer offset smoker and loads it full of fuel. Early on I knew Honey actually knew what she was doing, not just another pretty face. Why? Why did I know? Those offset smoker pits are horribly inefficient and basically lame as shit. She was/is smart enough to not only put fuel in the side box there, but also in the main chamber. So, she’s getting a direct grilling action with logs of hardwood on the side for lending smoky flavors! Makes a piece of shit smoker worth using.
Up first on the menu are the potato packets. Spiced up taters in several layers of foil, lump of butter and tossed to the grill. She loves the beerboat sausages too, also cooked in foil. See, you can’t be grilling fussy foods when you’re wrenchin’ on your rides. During all this, Mama is commenting about how nice it was to know me and please send the child support checks on time. Especially when Honey says, “Remember my darlin’s, fat is flavor.” I was gone and in heaven.
While Honey feeds the crowd, who by now has emassed quite a pile of empty beer cans in the center of the arena, Vicki the Auto Tart shows us how to change spark plugs! She’s good, real good. So good in fact she works for Broadway Ford in Oakland. Since we had an idea as to where she was, Creepy E made a trip in his Ford Festiva (originally purchased from Broadway Ford) and asked Vicki to sign it! She was really cool about it and signed it up right. See?

And here’s what the car looks like, back aways. Cool horns eh? Creepy E bought it from my sister. Her husband Meathead did the horns, festivas must have horns.

Crap, okay, where was I? Oh yeah, Auto Tart did the plugs and back to the grill we went. Some guy did the beer butt chicken, did real good too. As a finishing touch, Honey poured beer over the finished product. Yeah, I dunno man. I’d have to be there to know what that was like. Okay, so we have grilling, drinking, listening to really loud punk, smoking weed and introducing the hot chicks and their cars. My favorite was Anne-Marie, cute little thing that’d probably just as soon stab you as share a cold beer. Any woman that would drive to southern California to buy a 1975 El Camino from an old biker, is okay with me. Especially if you have to use a pocket knife to open the doors. Of course, Hot Rocking Jo and her 1973 Cougar was pretty cool, especially the coke light on the dash. I suppose it could double as a map light, potato/potahto. Everyone seemed really cool and enjoy whatever ride they had for one reason or another. Honey kept the fire going all day and produced more tasty things, such as Bitchen’ Gorgonzola Burgers and for desert? PotCorn and Pot Butter! While I don’t consider myself a stoner, I would like to think potcorn & potbutter would be one hell of a way to close a day.
By the end of the movie, Mama was sure I’d be packing my bags and making a pilgrimage. Everyone was enjoying the dregs of the potcorn and I was ready for bed, no pilgrimage for me.
I’ve seen the movie 4 or 5 times now (no really) and consider myself a big fan. Tina Tankdog has come a long way since her first film and it shows. The camera work is excellent, the lighting is well done, editing was smooth and the continuity director did their job well. The actors made their way through each scene just fine, nothing exploded or caught on fire and the cops didn’t show. That my friend is called success. While HCHSBBQ may not be one of this years major players, I would surely consider it one of my favorites. Thanks Tina!
When you receive your copy, look for the Barbecue Rejects “video” available from the main menu, it’s worth the price of admission alone.
Biggles