I’ll be honest with you, this post went around a few different poles before landing here. I was heavily armed with most certainly one of the best pork chops within 1.2 million miles, the technology to bring it forth and an absolutely sure fire way of making the best mashed potatoes ever, easy.
Good thing Meathenge is here, with his camera. To capture it all and lay it down so you can run home to play. Don’t you love me? Don’t you care?

In the beginning, we get the stovetop set up with the two-burner griddle with the side with what to make the grill marks. Turn exhaust fan to high and jack the heat on the griddle. Yank out your Fatted Calf chops and make them wait.
Slice up taters about an inch thick, skin or no skin. Get it hot water and cook till fork tender.

Pretty, huh.
While chops are coming off (set in pie tin with paper towel over), the taters are pretty much done. Drain them.

Here’s the huge, super badass way of making sure your mashed potatoes are perfect. Add lumps of butter and mash the spuds until they have a first, creamy consistency. That’s right, they should be creamy with butter first, saturated with butter fat. Then add the salt, add the white pepper and add the half & half. If you do it this way, there is no fail if you make 1, 2 or 6 potatoes. You can make many pounds of the most perfect mashed, just cream with butter first. This is the way and I stand by it 100%.
I know Jerry of Cooking by the Seat of my Pants did his Mashed Potato entry for the holidays. But I didn’t commit it to memory, so he probably did the same as me. Cream with butter, then add milk and salt with white pepper.

No, it all tasted better than the photographs allow. No really.
xo, Biggles
ps – Only the foremost and front pork chop was a Fatted Calf Rig.