Some of Fatted Calf’s Finest! Except for the chicken (sorry Taylor).
It’s all I can do from going on a long unintelligible rant at this moment. Oops, too late. I’ll be as brief as I can, then on to MEAT.

As you all know, Memorial Day is coming up. If you’ve been watching cooking shows you can’t miss it. What set me off were those pinheads at Cook’s Illustrated and their shameful attempt at slow cooking some beef ribs (not my trip, but they were on a Texas jag). The first bump in the road was when they were discussing fuel. Thankfully they bypassed the Matchlight (only to use it later on), but then they bypassed the mesquite wood saying it was ONLY good for hot fires that last 20 minutes. At this point the foam from my mouth was flipping from side to side. That’s just flat out wrong, picture Biggles punching the air and stamping the floor. Don’t you have to know what you’re doing to be a tv chef? Guess not. TRY READING THE INSTRUCTIONS ON THE BACK OF THE BAG YOU MORON !! Okay, so they can’t read either. Fine, use the briquettes, no problem. They got the fire going, put some raw wood on top and closed the lid. Then promptly What’s Her Name, Gidjet I believe it was, used a Thermapen (mines is red, far cooler than a dumb grey one) instant read thermometer to check the temperature of the smoker by sticking it in the hole of the exhaust. Sigh. Great, so now we know what the exhaust temp is. Gee, I wonder what temperature is WHERE THE POOR MEAT IS ?!? Oh, but it doesn’t stop here folks. Nope. As expected the briquettes burned down and needed to be replenished. All the time, Biggles is muttering, “Nononon, you wouldn’t. Nononono, you wouldn’t dare. Noononon, you couldn’t!” They did. They added cold, non-greyed Kingsford charcoal briquettes to a low fire and closed the lid. Gee, no temperature drop there,eh. If you add those briquettes to an existing fire, pull the meat and put in closed foil pouch until the briquettes are grey again. Those black pillows emit stinky nasties you don’t want near your meat.
Now For Something Useful:

Don’t add fresh charcoal briquets to an existing fire, preburn.

Check temperature at meat level (that’s where the meat is).

Mesquite/hardwood is fuel for any occasion and can be added cold without preburning and no ill effects will ensue (other than a temperture drop, add sparingly).

Use pork ribs. Beef ribs have changed much over the last 30 years. They used to be 10″ long and full of meat, not so now. They trim those suckers tight and sell the ribs wholesale for $1.50 a pound. What was connected to the ribs goes wholesale for $7.50 a pound. It don’t pay to leave meat on the ribs anymore. This isn’t to say every beef rib in the entire world is trimmed lean. Your money can do better.

Grrrr.
Okay, sorry Team Fatted Calf, but I needed to get that out of me. Ith was stanky.
Now that we have the fire situation taken care of, let’s get to the meat of the matter. Fatted Calf is ready for the 3 day weekend and what a weekend it’s going to be. They started off with some Beer Brats, combination of beef & pork. You’ll want to parboil these suckers in beer, sliced onions with a slab of butter for a few minutes before they get lovingly laid to the grill. Next up we have Stephanie’s favorite meat, Lamb! That’s right, we’re talkin’ lamb skewers made entirely of lamb leg with cumin, persian mint, a little chili pepper, garlic, salt and olive oil. Biggles will be getting some of these, you know it. And I can’t believe they did it again, Basque Sausage Coils! They were a complete smash last weekend, look for them again.
I know I say it each week, but I can’t stress this enough. Don’t wait all morning to get your meat, try to get there before 11. Especially this weekend, the first huge awesome grilling weekend yet. Now for their newsletter:
The Fatted Calf
Phone/Fax (510)653-4327
Well, if you haven’t fired up your grill this season (and knowing you, you probably have), this would definitely be the weekend to do it, for several reasons:
1) Beer Brats! After some extensive research, we have come up with these fun facts about Brats: A) These finely ground beef and pork “grown up hot dogs” are seasoned with caraway and are delicious poached slowly in beer and onions before landing on the grill. B) No yellow mustard! It’s German-style mustard for you, and for God’s sake, no ketchup! C) Enjoy on a big, absorbent roll, not a hot dog bun. Have some this weekend, or on Tuesday make it bring your Brat to work day-hah.
2) More lamb skewers made entirely of lamb leg with cumin, persian mint, a little
chili pepper, garlic, salt and olive oil. They are oh so tender and
ready to grill. Yum.
3) More Basque Sausage Coils! You clamored for the coils last week, so, just for you, T & T have been a coilin’ and a coilin’, and we’ve got lots this week: succulent and savory pork sausage coils, with that stellar Spanish seasoning, Piment d’Espelette. You probably remember the gorgeous glamour shot of our sausage coil from last week, brought to you by www.meathenge.com(Thanks, Biggles!), where you can still see it, as if you needed any more encouragement to grab one of these beauties.
There are other, equally compelling reasons to get out your grill, and they are listed below.
See you at the Market!
SPECIALS
Lamb skewers with cumin and Persian mint
Basque Sausage Coils
Sausage
Pork and Morel Mushroom Crepinettes
Merguez
Calabrese
Sweet Italian
Toulouse
Mexican Style Chorizo
Breakfast Sausage
Bordelaise
Beer Brats
Pates, Confits & Terrines
Pate Maison
Guinea Hen Terrine
Duck Confit
Duck Rillette
Rabbit Rillette
Salumi
Fegatelli
Mortadella
Pancetta
Other Meaty Goods
Bacon
Duck Demi
Glace de Viande
Sugo di Carne