The other day we had the post about how badly my lemons suck here at Meathenge Labs. Sure it has a lot to do with my lack of the green thumb and attention to said tree. But even when I was fertilizing it, the lemons took years to turn yellow.
What does one do when such failure is evident? That’s right, plant more citrus! A grapefruit tree to be exact.

Yesterday afternoon I found my way to the rear of the yard and had a heart to heart with Lemon. “Listen up Tree, here’s the scoop. While I take some responsibility with the quality of your fruit, here we are 7 years out and you have yet to produce a good lemon. I’m willing to give it another shot, if you are. I’ll trim your suckers and thin your existing fruit out a bit. We’ll tenderize your soil, fertilize and get you some decent moisture. Let’s get back on track and see what you can do. What do you say?”
Considering I was talking to a tree I didn’t really expect a response. Unless it dropped one of those heinous thorn ridden branches on my foot. Then, my friend? I’d take its life with a dull, undersized axe and a shovel. No citrus is going to talk back to me.
Was this the end of the conversation? Oh no, I wasn’t going to let this tree get the better of me. It was time to kick its ass and own its soul. I was ready. See, the other day I snuck off to Orchard Supply and bought me some nice little grapefruit tree. It was on sale and a variety that does well closer to the coast (cooler weather). Nothing like a little competition, eh?
I chose a place right next to the Lemon, yup right about there. I’d tilled it a few months ago, turned in some year old straw too. Considering Richmond’s nasty ass clay soil, I chose a nice bag of chicken poop mulch and steer poop mulch. And what’s gardening without the use of something gas powered and exceptionally loud? Out came the 5hp tiller! Turned that soil in nicely I did. Man, it was a deep dark brown when I got done with it. Used one of those rake things to even it out. Shoveled me a hole and got that little Grapefruit bedded perfectly. Base of the trunk exposed and a nice water ring formed. To finish was a nice deep soaking, aaaahhh.
Standing back, leaning on the shovel, it all looked most refreshing. Lemon looks attended to and while it wasn’t smiling, at least it looked awake. Grapefruit was kinda wild eyed and bouncy. A lot like Tigger, if you can picture that. Maybe they’ll get along and grow well together, wouldn’t that be sweet? They’d feel good and we’d finally get something edible.
And speaking of edible, Mater 1 and Mater 2 are doing exceptionally well.

See?
This is how the Biggles handles unruly citrus, let’s see how well they respond.
Next up this year will most certainly be a Bearss lime and Grannysmith apple.
Biggles